You’re Not Crazy
You’re Waking Up
Waking up feels a lot like going crazy. It’s similar to insanity because we lose our minds- or at least the way we used to think and feel.
We women often invest our entire selves into our relationships.
Losing ourselves can just be par for the wife/mommy course. It’s expected. Aren’t all good women “selfless” after all?
Where’s the line between the good wife and the self abandoning woman?
Like emotional quicksand, many of us women work harder and harder to improve our relationships, only to unwittingly sink deeper into a pit of futility.
Are you in a relationship that, from the outside, looks perfect?
Maybe you’ve been married for decades. You tell people you’re happily married, and usually you mean it.
There’s history.
He’s the father of your children, your husband, your man. You love him.
But deep within you, there’s an undeniable whisper
Something feels off.
You feel alone in a way you can’t quite identify or articulate.
Not abandoned.
Not unloved, exactly.
But not truly met.
Maybe you’ve tried to talk about it.
You’ve explained and shared with him what you need.
You’ve asked for more connection, more presence, more understanding.
You’ve read all the books.
Maybe you’ve tried to say it in a softer way.
Or a clearer way.
Or a way that wouldn’t start a fight.
And still you can’t connect.
So you start adjusting.
You become more patient.
More understanding.
Less demanding.
You tell yourself:
Maybe this is just how relationships are.
Maybe I need to be more grateful.
Maybe I’m expecting too much.
But quietly, over time, something shifts.
You stop bringing things up.
You stop reaching in the same way.
You stop expecting to be met.
And that part of you—the one that wanted connection, depth, emotional intimacy—
doesn’t disappear, but it gets quieter.
As you ignore and learn to dismiss your needs, you gradually abandon yourself.
This is the kind of loneliness that’s hardest to name.
Because you’re not alone.
And yet… you are.
I know this place.
I spent many years in a relationship where, from the outside, everything looked great.
Unknowingly, I was over-functioning; carrying the emotional weight of the relationship largely on my own.
And over time, I shrunk and became a smaller, less problematic version of my wild woman self.
What I understand now is this:
When emotional needs go unmet for long enough,
it doesn’t just affect the relationship,
It affects you.
Your sense of self.
Your clarity.
Your confidence and trust in your own feelings.
You start to question yourself instead of the dynamic.
And that’s where so many women get stuck.
Not because they’re weak.
Not because they don’t know something is wrong.
But because they’ve been slowly, subtly disconnected from their own inner knowing.
If you’re feeling this quiet disconnection—
I want you to hear this:
You’re not imagining it.
You’re not “too much.”
You’re not asking for something unreasonable.
You’re responding to something real.
You don’t have to solve everything today.
You don’t have to decide what this means for your future.
But you can begin here:
By telling yourself the truth about how you feel.
By allowing that truth to exist—without minimizing it, explaining it away, or making yourself wrong for it.
Because that’s where everything begins.
Not with a big decision.
Not with a dramatic change.
But with a quiet return to yourself.
This is the work I do with women.
Not telling you what to do.
Not pushing you toward a specific outcome.
But supporting you, helping you to reconnect with your voice, your truth, and your emotional clarity—
so that whatever comes next comes from you.
If this speaks to you, I’d love to support you.
You can learn more about working with me here:
https://susyporter.com/
Or simply stay here, and let this be the place you begin.
True love begins with you
I wish you true, deep, emotionally satisfying love
I wish you peace, that you may express your beauty and unique gifts with no shame or apologies.
May you be the powerful, creative woman you were born to be, loved and loving in the way that is aligned and joyful for you.
Insightful Susy, well said. I can definitely see myself in your words. The gradual changes, so subtle, and the tortuous almost unbearable loneliness. I've never been that lonely on my own before or since my 2nd marriage ended. Thank you for the reassurance and saying it out loud.